Funny vows for the groom

“I promise to always bring you coffee in the morning, even if I have to crawl to the kitchen.”
“I vow to never watch an episode of our favorite show without you, no matter how tempting it may be.”
“I promise to always tell you if you have something stuck in your teeth or on your face, even in public.”
“I vow to always respect your right to the last slice of pizza, even when I’m starving.”
“I promise to take your side even when you’re clearly in the wrong – but let’s both acknowledge that you’re wrong!”
“I vow to laugh at all your jokes, even when I’ve heard them a thousand times.”

“I promise to love and support you in all your passions, even when that means helping you build something complicated from IKEA.”
“I vow to tolerate all your weird habits, just as I hope you’ll tolerate mine.”
“I promise to stand by you through thick and thin, especially when you need someone to open a jar of pickles.”
“I vow to love and respect you even when it takes you 30 minutes to choose a movie on Netflix.”
“I promise to laugh at your jokes even when they’re so bad they could rival mother-in-law jokes.”
“I promise not to annoy you by showing you 50 memes a day... I’ll stop at 49.”
“I promise to always be ready to give you a back massage... in exchange for 30 minutes of a foot massage.”
“I promise to never say ‘I told you so’... out loud. I’ll just repeat it in my head about 100 times.”
“I vow to love you even when you turn the house into a museum of clothes scattered everywhere. After all, you’re a true artist in the art of mess.”
“I vow to always put the toilet seat down... except on days when I intentionally forget so I can watch you freak out and pretend to be shocked when you yell at me.”

“I promise to pretend I didn’t hear you talking in your sleep about how much you love cooking shows... even though I know the truth is you can barely make an omelet without a kitchen explosion.”
“I vow to never leave you... not even when you eat my last slice of pizza without asking, though that promise will really test the limits of my humanity.”
“I vow to never argue with you about the remote... unless it’s an important game or the latest episode of a show I’m totally pretending not to be obsessed with.”
“I promise to listen to all your work stories about your annoying coworkers... even if I sometimes want to fall asleep out of boredom and dream of a time when I didn’t have to remember names like ‘Maricica from accounting’.”
“I vow to always support your decisions... like when you want to buy your fifth set of decorative pillows that we’ll just take off the bed every night anyway.”
“I vow to continue loving you unconditionally... even when you crunch chips with your mouth open and turn chewing into a full-on symphony of noise that drives me crazy.”
“I promise to act impressed by every recipe you try from TikTok, even when the result looks more like a culinary disaster than a romantic dinner.”